Here are activities that can help children learn social skills. Look through and find the right activities for you to do with your child. Or go to Friendship Craze Books and order the latest interactive book to help you child with social skills. The books are funny and an easy way to practice important skills. You child will love spending the time with you. Or sign up now for coaching lessons! (Just like the parent who is an excellent musician-sometimes they have to hire someone outside the family to have their child take it seriously!) If you live in the Atlanta area Friendship Craze Classes are being taught at a very affordable price at the community recreation center.
Activities for the child who struggles with shyness: Some of the most important things to teach a shy child are how to make eye contact, look friendly and speak up.
1. Zip Zap Zop (Helps child make eye contact, look at someone and speak up) Gather 3 or more people in a circle. Start the game by pointing at another person in the circle and saying "Zip." That person, with no hesitation, must immediately point to another player and say "Zap." That player must, in turn, immediately point to another person and say "Zop." And that person then points to someone else and says "Zip." Continue in this fashion.
2. Have a staring contest. (Explain that generally we don’t stare-that’s creepy, but making eye contact is an important skill.)
3. Role play greeting someone by looking at their eyes, smiling and asking how they are.
4. Quick Answer Game: A lot of times conversations move so quickly that the shy kids don't have a chance to be part of a conversation. To help the shy child learn to be part of a conversation play this fun game. They love it and it works.
a. On a piece of paper ask a simple question (Make sure they are open questions- do not use yes or no questions) Example- What is your favorite movie? What is your favorite color?) Make about ten of these sheets with a different question on each sheet.
b. Put these sheets on the ground. Tell the children they cannot say, “I don’t know”. They have to answer the question whether they really feel that way or not.
c. Have them step on the question and answer it. Time each child to see how fast they can go through the line. The quickest person wins!
d. The child next in line has to work on their listening skills by listening to the answers the person in front of them gives and then see if they can remember the answers. Whoever can remember the most answers wins.
5. Listen and Reply Game. (Scrolldown to bottom of page to download game.) Play the game with your child. This is a game to teach appropriate conversations and to help children learn how to show interest in what others are saying. (Game is included in the book, "P.E.S.T. Personal Space and Taking Turns.")
6. Watch "Tips for your Shy Child" on bottom of page.
Activities for the child who struggles with Social Cues: A lot of kids don’t understand about boundaries. They try to get familiar too fast.
1. Teach about personal space. Let the child know that in the typical US culture the perfect space between two people is as if they had a hula hoop between them. You may want to buy a couple of hula hoops to demonstrate this.
2. Understanding of Friendship Sheet.
a. Divide a paper into three columns.
b. Label one section, acquaintances, the other friends and the other close friends. Explain the differences and
have your child write down some people in each column. (You won’t believe how many children I
have heard say “you are my best friend when they barely have met the other child. It scares the other
child really fast as you might imagine.
3. Captivating Conversation Game Game. This is a game to teach appropriate conversations and to help children learn how to show interest in what others are saying. (Scrolldown to bottom of page to download game.)
Activities for a child who struggles with being extra sensitive or becomes a victim:
1. If being bullied teach your child to say “Stop!” or go find an adult.
Taken from http://www.education.com/reference/article/actions-take-child-involved-bullying/.
a. Research shows that most bullies stop aggressive behavior within 10 seconds, when someone
(either a victim or a bystander) tells the perpetrator to stop in a strong and powerful voice.
You, as the parent can role-play an assertive response.
b. Demonstrate the differences between aggressive and assertive and passive voices,
as well as body language, tone of voice, and words used. If staying “stop” with
an assertive voice does not work, teach your child to find an adult right away.
c. Practice confidence. Practice ways to respond to the bully verbally or through your behavior. Practice
feeling good about yourself (even if you have to fake it at first).
d. Take charge of your life. You can't control other people's actions, but you can stay true to yourself.
Think about ways to feel your best — and your strongest — so that other kids may give up the teasing.
Exercise is one way to feel strong and powerful. (It's a great mood lifter, too!) Learn a martial art
or take class like yoga. Another way to gain confidence is to hone your skills in something like chess, art,
music, computers, or writing. Joining a class, club, or gym is a great way to make new friends and feel
great about yourself. The confidence you gain will help you ignore the mean kids.
e. Talk about it. It may help to talk to a guidance counselor, teacher, or friend — anyone who can give you
the support you need. Talking can be a good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when
you're being bullied.
f. Find your (true) friends. If you've been bullied with rumors or gossip, all of the above tips (especially
ignoring and not reacting) can apply. But take it one step further to help ease feelings of of hurt and
isolation. Find one or two true friends and confide how the gossip has hurt your feelings. Set the record
straight by telling your friends quietly and confidently what's true and not true about you. Hearing a
friend say, "I know the rumor's not true. I didn't pay attention to it," can help you realize that most
of the time people see gossip for what it is — petty, rude, and immature.
2. Protective Armor:
Have your child pretend or better yet find some armor like a knight and discuss how this protects someone
from having a sword hurt them. Tell them to imagine there is armor around them when someone is bullying
them so their words do not hurt. You could have them draw a picture of their armor and how it works in a
bullying situation.
Activities for the Child who struggles with Negative Thoughts :
1. Read "There's a Big Ant on Me! Get it Off!", or the new title is A.N.T. Annoying Nonsense Thoughts: A Guide to Positive Thinking. Read the book with your child to help him/her learn how to
change their thoughts. Learning this technique early can change your child's life.
2. ANTS INTO HAWKS: We automatically believe every thought we think w/o questioning it. We can call
these thoughts “ANTS” or ‘annoying nonsense thoughts’. Most of the time these make us feel
crummy and aren’t necessarily true. Our thoughts create chemicals in our brain and we feel depressed
because of our thoughts. We need to combat our negative thoughts or our “ANTS” into positive
thoughts which are ”HAWKS” –Happy, Awesome, Wonderful Knowledge. Here is an example: If
someone pushes you in the play ground you can think “that person wants to hurt me" or
turn that ANT in to a HAWK by thinking “I bet it was an accident”. Another example: instead
of thinking your teacher hates you (ANT)-- think “I bet she is having a bad day” (HAWK).
A fun activity is to copy the ANT and have your child write a negative thought on it. Have your child
‘step’ on it or smush it and then have them write a more realistic thoughts on the Hawk to replace the ANT.
The kids absolutely love this!!!
3. Gratitude Journal: Have them keep a gratitude journal and write in it 15 minutes a day. Better yet
keep one yourself and every evening share what you wrote and encourage but don’t force your child
into sharing what they wrote. Make it a family activity.
Activities for the Child who can be aggressive or sometimes bullies:
Go over these questions with your child and have them share their thoughts and feelings while you share
yours in a calm, teaching moment.
HOW NOT TO BE A BULLY
http://www.goodcharacter.com/GROARK/Bullying.html
Sometimes it is difficult to know what is or is not bullying. Often, actions start out just being fun, but may at some point actually turn into bullying. If you are not sure whether something has become bullying, stop and think and ask yourself these questions.
1. Are my actions or words hurting someone else's feelings?
2. Are my actions or words hurting someone else physically or making that person feel afraid?
3. Would I want someone else to do this to me?
4. Am I unfairly taking my anger out on someone?
5. Am I trying to control someone against his or her will?
WHAT IS A BULLY?
1. Can someone be a bully without meaning to be?
2. What's the difference between bullying and just fooling around?
WHICH OF THESE IS BULLYING (AND WHY)?
• Making fun of somebody's looks.
• Accidentally bumping into someone in the hall.
• Calling people names because of the color of their skin.
• Making the other kids play the game your way.
• Teasing someone about the clothes he/she wears.
• Telling someone that the hat he's wearing doesn't look good on him.
• A group of kids won't let you sit with them at lunch even though there's room.
• Telling someone that he or she is not being nice.
Activities for the BORN LEADER AND LITTLE ADULT:
There are a lot of positives to kids with these attributes. They are leaders and smart, creative etc! But sometimes these traits keep other kids from feeling comfortable around them and may annoy teachers who are trying to teach and a child tries to take over. Here are some games that may be helpful so your child understand when to
back off and be a follower when it is appropriate.
1.Play Mirror:
a. Get a partner.
b. Face your partner. Do not talk at all. Look into your partner's eyes. Put your hands up as though you were clapping your partner's hands but DON'T touch your partner.
c. Keep looking directly into your partner's eyes. Slowly begin to move one hand in any direction without
touching your partner at all. As your partner senses your motion, eyes not moving away from yours, your partner will move the same way--like the way a mirror mimics your motion when you are in front of it. As you sense your
partner's motion, follow his lead.
d. Continue sensing and following your partner's moves and leading and being followed by your partner. It will become easier and easier to predict what will happen next and the game can involve larger, more complex movements. It is amazing how well you and your partner will become sensitive to each other without saying one word.
2. Find A Phrase:
Find a phrase your child can say each time he/she has the urge to correct an adult. Example: Chill, whatever, it doesn’t really matter etc.
3. Ink blot game:
Make an inkblot. Have everyone write down as many things it can be. Go around room. Relate how everyone
has a different perspective, and we need to respect all perspectives.
4. Tell the Bricklayer Story:
A man grew beautiful flowers that he wanted to share with his community. The man heard about a bricklayer he
wanted to hire because he heard he was the best in town. He hired the man to build a path to his beautiful flowers for the community to walk to. The bricklayer thought to himself-I can do better than that! I will build a beautiful wall showcasing my brickwork. So he spent days building a beautiful wall. The man with the flowers came back. Do you think he was happy? Why or why not?
Answer: He was very upset because he wanted to share the garden with those around him and even though the wall was beautiful it was not what he wanted and the wall blocked his garden.
Moral of the Story: Sometimes we may have a great idea but we need to listen to what others want and accept what they say.
5. Role Playing:
Present children with a series of scenarios where they can be choose to be boastful or humble, such as winning a game, getting an A on a test or giving someone a gift. Have children give a boastful response and a humble response to the scenario. For example, a child could pretend to brag about winning the game to demonstrate boastful behavior and say "good game" to the other players to demonstrate humility. Talk about how everyone involved would feel for each scenario to emphasize why choosing to be humble is the better option.
6. An Arrogant Person
http://kids.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Activities_for_Kids_On_Humility
On a large piece of paper, draw a stick figure or outline of a person. Label the figure Mr. or Miss Arrogant. Draw on clothing or accessories to represent arrogance, such as a crown, a foam finger saying "I'm #1" or a shirt that says
"I Rock" or "I'm with stupid." Draw thought bubbles around the figure and fill them with suggestions from children about what an arrogant person would say. Children may include phrases such as "I'm better than you" or "Ha ha. I
won!"
7. Listen and Reply Game This is a game to teach appropriate conversations and to help children learn how to show interest in what others are saying. (Scrolldown to bottom of page to download game.)
Activities for the child who struggles with shyness: Some of the most important things to teach a shy child are how to make eye contact, look friendly and speak up.
1. Zip Zap Zop (Helps child make eye contact, look at someone and speak up) Gather 3 or more people in a circle. Start the game by pointing at another person in the circle and saying "Zip." That person, with no hesitation, must immediately point to another player and say "Zap." That player must, in turn, immediately point to another person and say "Zop." And that person then points to someone else and says "Zip." Continue in this fashion.
2. Have a staring contest. (Explain that generally we don’t stare-that’s creepy, but making eye contact is an important skill.)
3. Role play greeting someone by looking at their eyes, smiling and asking how they are.
4. Quick Answer Game: A lot of times conversations move so quickly that the shy kids don't have a chance to be part of a conversation. To help the shy child learn to be part of a conversation play this fun game. They love it and it works.
a. On a piece of paper ask a simple question (Make sure they are open questions- do not use yes or no questions) Example- What is your favorite movie? What is your favorite color?) Make about ten of these sheets with a different question on each sheet.
b. Put these sheets on the ground. Tell the children they cannot say, “I don’t know”. They have to answer the question whether they really feel that way or not.
c. Have them step on the question and answer it. Time each child to see how fast they can go through the line. The quickest person wins!
d. The child next in line has to work on their listening skills by listening to the answers the person in front of them gives and then see if they can remember the answers. Whoever can remember the most answers wins.
5. Listen and Reply Game. (Scrolldown to bottom of page to download game.) Play the game with your child. This is a game to teach appropriate conversations and to help children learn how to show interest in what others are saying. (Game is included in the book, "P.E.S.T. Personal Space and Taking Turns.")
6. Watch "Tips for your Shy Child" on bottom of page.
Activities for the child who struggles with Social Cues: A lot of kids don’t understand about boundaries. They try to get familiar too fast.
1. Teach about personal space. Let the child know that in the typical US culture the perfect space between two people is as if they had a hula hoop between them. You may want to buy a couple of hula hoops to demonstrate this.
2. Understanding of Friendship Sheet.
a. Divide a paper into three columns.
b. Label one section, acquaintances, the other friends and the other close friends. Explain the differences and
have your child write down some people in each column. (You won’t believe how many children I
have heard say “you are my best friend when they barely have met the other child. It scares the other
child really fast as you might imagine.
3. Captivating Conversation Game Game. This is a game to teach appropriate conversations and to help children learn how to show interest in what others are saying. (Scrolldown to bottom of page to download game.)
Activities for a child who struggles with being extra sensitive or becomes a victim:
1. If being bullied teach your child to say “Stop!” or go find an adult.
Taken from http://www.education.com/reference/article/actions-take-child-involved-bullying/.
a. Research shows that most bullies stop aggressive behavior within 10 seconds, when someone
(either a victim or a bystander) tells the perpetrator to stop in a strong and powerful voice.
You, as the parent can role-play an assertive response.
b. Demonstrate the differences between aggressive and assertive and passive voices,
as well as body language, tone of voice, and words used. If staying “stop” with
an assertive voice does not work, teach your child to find an adult right away.
c. Practice confidence. Practice ways to respond to the bully verbally or through your behavior. Practice
feeling good about yourself (even if you have to fake it at first).
d. Take charge of your life. You can't control other people's actions, but you can stay true to yourself.
Think about ways to feel your best — and your strongest — so that other kids may give up the teasing.
Exercise is one way to feel strong and powerful. (It's a great mood lifter, too!) Learn a martial art
or take class like yoga. Another way to gain confidence is to hone your skills in something like chess, art,
music, computers, or writing. Joining a class, club, or gym is a great way to make new friends and feel
great about yourself. The confidence you gain will help you ignore the mean kids.
e. Talk about it. It may help to talk to a guidance counselor, teacher, or friend — anyone who can give you
the support you need. Talking can be a good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when
you're being bullied.
f. Find your (true) friends. If you've been bullied with rumors or gossip, all of the above tips (especially
ignoring and not reacting) can apply. But take it one step further to help ease feelings of of hurt and
isolation. Find one or two true friends and confide how the gossip has hurt your feelings. Set the record
straight by telling your friends quietly and confidently what's true and not true about you. Hearing a
friend say, "I know the rumor's not true. I didn't pay attention to it," can help you realize that most
of the time people see gossip for what it is — petty, rude, and immature.
2. Protective Armor:
Have your child pretend or better yet find some armor like a knight and discuss how this protects someone
from having a sword hurt them. Tell them to imagine there is armor around them when someone is bullying
them so their words do not hurt. You could have them draw a picture of their armor and how it works in a
bullying situation.
Activities for the Child who struggles with Negative Thoughts :
1. Read "There's a Big Ant on Me! Get it Off!", or the new title is A.N.T. Annoying Nonsense Thoughts: A Guide to Positive Thinking. Read the book with your child to help him/her learn how to
change their thoughts. Learning this technique early can change your child's life.
2. ANTS INTO HAWKS: We automatically believe every thought we think w/o questioning it. We can call
these thoughts “ANTS” or ‘annoying nonsense thoughts’. Most of the time these make us feel
crummy and aren’t necessarily true. Our thoughts create chemicals in our brain and we feel depressed
because of our thoughts. We need to combat our negative thoughts or our “ANTS” into positive
thoughts which are ”HAWKS” –Happy, Awesome, Wonderful Knowledge. Here is an example: If
someone pushes you in the play ground you can think “that person wants to hurt me" or
turn that ANT in to a HAWK by thinking “I bet it was an accident”. Another example: instead
of thinking your teacher hates you (ANT)-- think “I bet she is having a bad day” (HAWK).
A fun activity is to copy the ANT and have your child write a negative thought on it. Have your child
‘step’ on it or smush it and then have them write a more realistic thoughts on the Hawk to replace the ANT.
The kids absolutely love this!!!
3. Gratitude Journal: Have them keep a gratitude journal and write in it 15 minutes a day. Better yet
keep one yourself and every evening share what you wrote and encourage but don’t force your child
into sharing what they wrote. Make it a family activity.
Activities for the Child who can be aggressive or sometimes bullies:
Go over these questions with your child and have them share their thoughts and feelings while you share
yours in a calm, teaching moment.
HOW NOT TO BE A BULLY
http://www.goodcharacter.com/GROARK/Bullying.html
Sometimes it is difficult to know what is or is not bullying. Often, actions start out just being fun, but may at some point actually turn into bullying. If you are not sure whether something has become bullying, stop and think and ask yourself these questions.
1. Are my actions or words hurting someone else's feelings?
2. Are my actions or words hurting someone else physically or making that person feel afraid?
3. Would I want someone else to do this to me?
4. Am I unfairly taking my anger out on someone?
5. Am I trying to control someone against his or her will?
WHAT IS A BULLY?
1. Can someone be a bully without meaning to be?
2. What's the difference between bullying and just fooling around?
WHICH OF THESE IS BULLYING (AND WHY)?
• Making fun of somebody's looks.
• Accidentally bumping into someone in the hall.
• Calling people names because of the color of their skin.
• Making the other kids play the game your way.
• Teasing someone about the clothes he/she wears.
• Telling someone that the hat he's wearing doesn't look good on him.
• A group of kids won't let you sit with them at lunch even though there's room.
• Telling someone that he or she is not being nice.
Activities for the BORN LEADER AND LITTLE ADULT:
There are a lot of positives to kids with these attributes. They are leaders and smart, creative etc! But sometimes these traits keep other kids from feeling comfortable around them and may annoy teachers who are trying to teach and a child tries to take over. Here are some games that may be helpful so your child understand when to
back off and be a follower when it is appropriate.
1.Play Mirror:
a. Get a partner.
b. Face your partner. Do not talk at all. Look into your partner's eyes. Put your hands up as though you were clapping your partner's hands but DON'T touch your partner.
c. Keep looking directly into your partner's eyes. Slowly begin to move one hand in any direction without
touching your partner at all. As your partner senses your motion, eyes not moving away from yours, your partner will move the same way--like the way a mirror mimics your motion when you are in front of it. As you sense your
partner's motion, follow his lead.
d. Continue sensing and following your partner's moves and leading and being followed by your partner. It will become easier and easier to predict what will happen next and the game can involve larger, more complex movements. It is amazing how well you and your partner will become sensitive to each other without saying one word.
2. Find A Phrase:
Find a phrase your child can say each time he/she has the urge to correct an adult. Example: Chill, whatever, it doesn’t really matter etc.
3. Ink blot game:
Make an inkblot. Have everyone write down as many things it can be. Go around room. Relate how everyone
has a different perspective, and we need to respect all perspectives.
4. Tell the Bricklayer Story:
A man grew beautiful flowers that he wanted to share with his community. The man heard about a bricklayer he
wanted to hire because he heard he was the best in town. He hired the man to build a path to his beautiful flowers for the community to walk to. The bricklayer thought to himself-I can do better than that! I will build a beautiful wall showcasing my brickwork. So he spent days building a beautiful wall. The man with the flowers came back. Do you think he was happy? Why or why not?
Answer: He was very upset because he wanted to share the garden with those around him and even though the wall was beautiful it was not what he wanted and the wall blocked his garden.
Moral of the Story: Sometimes we may have a great idea but we need to listen to what others want and accept what they say.
5. Role Playing:
Present children with a series of scenarios where they can be choose to be boastful or humble, such as winning a game, getting an A on a test or giving someone a gift. Have children give a boastful response and a humble response to the scenario. For example, a child could pretend to brag about winning the game to demonstrate boastful behavior and say "good game" to the other players to demonstrate humility. Talk about how everyone involved would feel for each scenario to emphasize why choosing to be humble is the better option.
6. An Arrogant Person
http://kids.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Activities_for_Kids_On_Humility
On a large piece of paper, draw a stick figure or outline of a person. Label the figure Mr. or Miss Arrogant. Draw on clothing or accessories to represent arrogance, such as a crown, a foam finger saying "I'm #1" or a shirt that says
"I Rock" or "I'm with stupid." Draw thought bubbles around the figure and fill them with suggestions from children about what an arrogant person would say. Children may include phrases such as "I'm better than you" or "Ha ha. I
won!"
7. Listen and Reply Game This is a game to teach appropriate conversations and to help children learn how to show interest in what others are saying. (Scrolldown to bottom of page to download game.)
| listen_and_reply_game.doc |
